Where's the Tongue?

Despite the fact I vowed not to buy anymore pop-up books until J reached the age of 5, I could not resist buying this book, when I saw it at Costco:

Normally, I try not venture into the center aisles of Costco, since they rarely contain items of necessity. But this particular day, there was a crowd of children and adult males around the book display. There was giggling and snickering, but what really caught my attention were the kids' reactions. What kind of book could be causing such a commotion? I ventured over to see for myself. The first thing that I noticed were the pink tongues hanging out of the covers. Apparently the boys noticed them too. "Mom, can we buy one please? C'mon they have a TONGUE!" "Stop that! Stop touching those tongues! Other people have been touching them, look they are already turning gray!" The tongues were very interesting, they were rubbery and gummy, much like a sticky hand and the texture was strikingly similar to a real tongue. I dug through the pile and, just as I suspected, there at the bottom were a few books with CLEAN pink tongues, still covered in protective plastic. As I opened the book, I came to a realization...this book was AMAZING!! Every single page had a pop-up, fold out, pull tab, or flap. Oh, and did I mention it had a tongue? It covered the ENTIRE process of digestion, and even had digestive mishaps (vomiting) included. "All right, we can get one, but only if you promise to take good care of it."

J's record with pop-up books is less than stellar. Poor Thomas was ripped from underneath his cardboard bridge the day we brought him home, and all of the animals in Noah's pop-up ark have been decapitated. B knew, as well as I did, that if he did not keep this book out of J's hands it would not survive the week. We designated a special place, atop the supply cabinet, to keep the book safe. For several weeks B was very diligent about putting the book away after each reading. J was allowed to LOOK at the book while B read, and occasionally permitted to squish the tongue. Then, one day B did not put the book back. This was the result:

Wait, where's the tongue???

Oh, here it is!

Can you imagine finding this anywhere in your house and not being horrified? (Didn't think so.)

I'm sorry Digesto Boy, I really am. At the time I brought you home, I was not aware things would end like this. Your tongue has been savagely ripped from your mouth, and your intestines are nowhere to be found. Despite these atrocities, I hope you can find forgiveness in your tiny little paper heart. I promise I will locate all your missing organs and tape them back to you with all the care your own mother publisher would. Until then I lay you down to rest, far from reaching distance of the child responsible for this mess... Oh, by the way, here's your tongue back.